The Most Beautiful Adventure of Your Life
Newly weds today are filled with excitement and the desire to know how to keep the passion in a relationship. As a newly wed couple you are both entering the most beautiful adventure of your life. But remember, that if your flame of love is not ” fanned” it can turn into embers and die. There is no need for this to happen because your love ( and passion) can grow stronger and stronger with time and bring you both untold bliss.
Marriage – A Pioneer Expedition
Every newly married couple is a little like the hope of the gold pioneers who crossed the Mississippi River in the 1940’s. These Pioneers settlers,as they entered the new land looking for the precious gold, where filled with both hope and also some uncertainty. These men where in the expectation of new territory, exciting wonders and riches that they have never seen before. Also at the same time they where filled with some apprehension and uncertainty because of the challenges and dangers ahead. Entering marriage as a couple is a bit like being a Pioneer Crossing into new territory. A new land of new experiences is stretching out before you both as you enter the most beautiful adventure of your life. Although countless couples have gone on before you to enter into the new land of married life, it’s still for you both an unsettled and unexplored land and a new horizon before you. A horizon filled with exciting hope but also some degree of apprehension; You both need to ask the question anew and often, “how to keep passion in a relationship.
Hold Tight Your Dreams
A committed marriage bond filled with mutual love, together with the joy of children in a loving stable relationship is a ‘ land’ full of satisfaction and blessing. Married couples enter marriage with such hopes, dreams and excitement; and rightly so because a marriage filled with love, God at it’s centre and the commitment of bride bride and groom to succeed has the potential to be a very wonderful union with great and glorious potential. There will definitely be challenges and the presence of difficulties of various kinds but these trials can make marriage stronger if endured with the correct attitude.
Growth In Married Love Comes From Commitment
The NUMBER ONE answer to the question of how to keep passion in a relationship is the word “commitment”. Growth In Married Love Comes From Commitment and you both need to “ work” at your marriage. That “Lust at first sight”, that Instant attraction you felt was meant to be there at the very beginning of your relationship. It was designed to be a ‘ booster’ to draw you close together. However, the reality is, that those feelings will come and go. Those feelings will wax and wane as your relationship gets deeper. With time it will undergo a transformation into something less torrid and exciting and it will transform into something deeper, more restful. More full of content and peace.
At the beginning of your relationship Chemistry was instant. You had no control of it and it took no effort on your part. It was right there from the start or it developed rapidly. In those days ot took no effort or nurturing on your part to keep your love alive. It was wild! It was illogical. It was irrational and out of conscious control. At the beginning your passion worked at a very primitive level. That’s the way it was intended to be. But the most beautiful adventure of your life was never meant to continue in that way. You both need to be clear that there comes a time in your relationship when your love will grow deeper, broader, wider and fuller, but you will be consciously involved in that love growth. As you work at your marriage It will transform into something more glorious than it was in the early days of your romance. But you will keep your love alive and make it grow by working at it!
Dangers For Marrieds and Marriage itself in Today’s Crazy Society
But there are dangers. Dangers both to marriage itself as well as to married couples. – especially newly-weds. Today there are all kinds of strange ideas as to how to how to keep passion in a relationship. In these present times, marriage ( which I believe to be the beautiful gift of God), is under real and vicious attack. This relationship which has been the ‘ bedrock’ of civilized societies through the ages in many nations is now coming under either ridicule or being distorted from its original form. Even Polyandry is now becoming acceptable. Casual sex with MANY partners was in past times considered to be bad behaviour and immoral. Now however in recent years it been accepted as the “ norm”. More and more the argument is ( especially for the single man) . “ Why commit when you can have it all and be unaccountable? All these forces make the temptation for a husband or wife “ to stray” very strong. We are all human and all have weaknesses – but one bad slip can damage an otherwise good marriage and cause untold emotional upheaval and heart break.
The Harm Caused By One Night Stands
Then in today’s world we are bombarded by the liberal media to believe that “one – night- stands are not only acceptable but also therapeutic. Casual sex with MANY partners was in past times considered to be bad behaviour and immoral. Now it been accepted as the “ norm” . There are changes. Many thinking persons are now saying that the old moral values were best – and that there was a very good reason for them. Take the case of casual sex and one – night- stands.
Surveys have shown that besides the commonly known risks of casual sex, like STDs and AIDS, alcoholism and deep depression can come to a woman from a one night stand or a lifestyle of one-night-stands. The reason for this is the fact that there is a very great difference between men and women in the way that chemicals are released in the brain during intercourse. In women a chemical called oxytocin is released which is a chemical that makes women want to nurture their young and stay close. Men on the other hand get a massive jolt of testosterone during sex, which actually suppresses oxytocin and makes it easier for them to leave. Women may think they can have sex and just walk away like guys do, but they’re fighting the effects of a chemical that tells them to cuddle, stay in bed, and look forward to tomorrow. When they get up and walk out, they feel depressed and don’t know why.
With women the oxytocin chemical makes short relationships more likely to bring depression. For a woman breaking up from a longer relationship, though painful, tends to be less painful than breaking up from a short one. Casual one-night-stands or ‘ hookups’ are by their nature very brief encounters, and this means that girls who hook up have to work really hard to squash or deny those natural feelings of connection, which again leads to depression.
Casual sex also has a detrimental effect on the ability to stay faithful in a relationship and to trust in a caring manner. It may make later relationships more difficult, particularly if it becomes a pattern, because cheating is common in the world of casual sex. Trust is an elusive quality and a man or woman in the world of the one-night-stand doesn’t learn how to trust or be caring and faithful. A person who doesn’t learn and also learn to practice these virtues will find it’s going to be harder down the road to have a successful relationship and be faithful in marriage.
How Does Pornography Affect Marriages?
Then there is the appearance and rise in pornography. Pornography which in previous times had been seen as an evil vice, has become widely accepted as ‘ the norm’! Some couples actually use “ shared pornography” as one way to answer the question of how to keep passion in a relationship. Some couples use it (supposedly), as a way to excite them and spice up their love-making. But the truth is that Pornography has been found to have a negative effect.
Research has shown that the use of pornography by a husband ( or a wife) directly has an effect on decreasing the love and sexual intimacy of a couple. This vice is actually a form of infidelity that reduces the exclusive loving close bond of a husband and wife. It has a negative impact on you as a person – and on your relationships. It hurts the ones you love, and rather than drawing you closer, it is likely creates a wall between you, driving you apart rather than closer together.
Are Online Sex Chats Harmful?
Then there is the internet “ chat room” and web-cam type of sexual activity. Even if conversations between other partners on the internet is no more than ‘flirtation, to the mind of the spouse of the one involved in this practice this online sexual activity is perceived by both men and women as an act of betrayal. It is just as real to the offended spouse as as real offline acts, This can result in great heartbreak and a sense of worthlessness and betrayal to the offended party. namely emotional infidelity.
With all these negative forces around us, a married couple need to be vigilant and work hard at keeping their marriage strong and avoid their dreams being shattered. This shattering of hopes and dreams need not happen but it is so sad that often a marriages hope shrivels up under the face of difficulties and trials that come. Such difficulties in marriage sometimes break down what could be such a glorious union and destroy the fresh new hope that the couple had at the start of their relationship.
You take care of your motor car so that it would drive well. Every businessman takes care of his business so that it will bring him a better profit. We all take care of our bodies. You learn how to care for your health so that the vitality and happiness will be maintained. It only makes sense to take care for the things we love so that they will serve us better. Husbands need to work at taking care of their wives and the wives need to take care of loving there husbands.
Tender Touch Has Power
Touch is so important. Don’t just reserve your touching to your times of love-making. Make sure that every day ( or four or five times a week) you get intimate cuddling up together and touching each other tenderly. If you have children make sure they are put to bed. Don’t just sit in different chairs at night reading the paper or watching TV. If there is something interesting eo watch, hold hands or cuddle and watch it together. Both men and women feel love through touch, so we needed to sit closer to each other. For the man such things as Back rubs, massages, and cuddling will make him feel appreciated. Often, the woman responds more to affectionate and positive words.
Listen To Each Other
When some couples have been married for a long time, they may start to wonder what happened to the strong, communicative relationship they used to have. It all starts out so sweetly at first – but sadly with the passing of time couples may loose the art and magic of communicating. Sadly some even drift apart through lack of communication; they have experienced too many fights and accusations and they don’t bother to listen anymore. It doesn’t have to be that way. There are steps you can take to keep that sweet communication flowing or to regain your ability and desire to listen to your spouse if you have lost it. You can recover the magic and the passion and get back on the pathway of the most beautiful adventure of your life.
When you sense that your husband or wife wants to talk – stop what your doing. Perhaps your surfing the NET or working on the computer. Whatever your doing, when you sense that your spouse needs to talk with you – GIVE THEM YOUR FULL ATTENTION!
As you are communicating, make good eye contact so that they KNOW your ready to listen with care. Don’t be too hasty to reply. It’s so very easy to cut your lover off and answer too quickly. Be loving and patient and listen carefully while he/she is speaking. Here is something ( all men in particular) need to learn. Dont just listen to the words your wife is speaking! She may be saying something else – trying to tell you how she feels in a round about way. A husband needs to learn to be intuitive and anticipate how his wife really feels. Try and develop an ” intuitive ear”.
Make sure you communicate each day. Even if you have a very busy work or family life, make sure you set some time apart to talk intimately each day one- to-one with your love. If work pressures are demanding to the extent that you cannot be with your wife, phone her or Skype her. Even if pressures of work take you off to a business conference away from home – keep that communication flowing.
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